The ‘Signs’ cash-in TV movie ‘Warnings’ (‘Silent Warnings’ in the US) has been released on DVD and video. COLIN WOOLFORD ‘warns’ us not to rush to buy it…
So there I was in my local ‘Blockbuster’, looking for ‘Equilibrium’ (not yet out), when I came across a new crop circle film called ‘Warnings’, quite obviously trying to cash in on the ‘Signs’ market. As a keen crop circle researcher, I thought I would watch it to see if it was any good. No, is the short answer.
College kids visit the farm of one of their cousins who has died mysteriously and been found in a crop circle. Things go bump in the night, aliens are seen and young women take off their clothes. Whereas in ‘Signs’ the aliens didn’t like water, these ones are allergic to iron!
The circles are rubbish - no patterns, just two big messy circles, with no sign of that exotic piece on the front cover [actually the 1995 Telegraph Hill ‘clutchplate’ formation]. And that’s about it really - the aliens are invading Earth and our college friends engage them in combat, the farm blows up and a couple of them escape. Nothing to do with crop circles then, other than them being a warning of an invasion. “You can feel the fear” is the line they use on the cover. Too right - don’t go anywhere near this.
On the same day, I bought ‘The Day the Earth Stood Still’, a great film with a great message. Do yourself a favour and get that, and leave rubbish like ‘Silent Warnings’ on the shelf where it belongs.
For what it’s worth, the film is 83 minutes long, is directed by Christian McIntire, and stars Stephen Baldwin (one of the infamous Baldwin brothers maybe?) as a farmer who dies after five minutes, A J Buckley as our hero, and Billy Zane (rings a bell – he was in ‘Titanic’) as the sheriff.