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Swirled News received this very interesting communication from deep space today, as decoded by DOUG ROGERS, who appears to have interpreted the Chilbolton ‘code’ formation in more detail…

Ladies and Gentlemen of Planet Earth,

We have yours of Nov. 1974, and thank you very much for your informative letter. May we extend apologies to you for our tardiness in replying to your communiqué. Quite luckily, we happened to have a commuter ship passing from point to point when it intersected and received your beamed digital newsletter. Our calculations indicate that your light-speed message took about thirteen of your years to reach our passing ship. Not being familiar with your method of scripting, you will understand that it took us a while to figure out what you were trying to convey. However, with the help of some of our ancient history buffs, we managed to unravel the intent of your conveyance.

Under separate cover, we have returned a similar message to you wherein current data concerning our situation and space status are noted. We trust that our rather unique method of contacting you via grain fields will suffice for the present.

If you question our reference to "point-to-point" space travel, please refer to your Dr Paul LaViolette and his book ‘Talk of the Galaxy’. Dr LaViolette will explain to you how we navigate here in outer space, using what you planetary citizens refer to as ‘pulsars’ to guide us from navigational beacon to navigational beacon. Travelling throughout our galaxy is not as difficult as some of your scientists deem it to be. Judging from the content of your 1974 newsletter, it appears that you have come a long way recently toward an understanding of the space travel we all enjoy, and have enjoyed for many of your millennia. We are puzzled, however, that at this late date, your professional communications people have yet to understand, or acknowledge that they understand, our continuing presence in your atmosphere and in your grain fields. Your scientists will have to overcome such reluctance to progress, providing, of course, that they themselves understand what our presence represents.

In this first communiqué, we should contain our enthusiasm for rapid exchange of intriguing data. May we therefore take this opportunity to simply welcome you all on Earth to a new era in your planet's history, and look forward to further communications. May we suggest that your communications to us in the future be somewhat simplified, using technologies well known to you. A simple television broadcast antennae, directed at any of several ‘pulsars’, will do. We monitor all communications received at ‘pulsars’ regularly, and when we receive your next communiqué, rather than disrupt one of your grain fields with our return, we will resort to some more rapid and permanent type of recording. You will recognize our return message without difficulty.

One final thought... We are urged by many here to pass along to you that we dearly wish that you not explode any more of your so-called atom or nuclear bombs. You have no idea how disruptive that type of explosion can be to our galaxy-wide communications network. In your language, you might better understand our concern if we describe our disrupted network as becoming "hinklety-pinklety". Most disturbing...

Cheers... And good luck with your new exposure to a wider horizon than has been known to all of your predecessors.

VarTanian XII


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